Wedding Week: Independence Day

Today is Fourth of July, Independence Day here in the States, and I’m excited to get my day started. Kara, Lisa (Kara’s sister), and I are heading out to my folks’ house for some good food, lawn games, and fireworks. It should be a great day and I’m looking forward to it. Before I forget to mention it…Happy 4th of July.

July 4th….five days out from the Big Day. I’m an independent person by nature, I like being able to do things myself by myself and in the way that I want to do them. With getting married though, I’m teaming up with a beautiful woman who I still can’t believe said yes to me. The independent is becoming interdependent.

I heard one of mentors in college once say that anytime you join a collective group, you negotiate away part of your independence. You’re not as autonomous as you once were but that also means you can do things together that you couldn’t do yourself.

But I don’t want to lose my identity, my individual personality and characteristics that make me… well, me. I don’t want to deny my ideas and opinions and hopes and dreams and lose a large part of who I am.

But I also don’t want Kara to lose her personality and individuality either. I’m not marrying her because I’m looking for some Stepford wife or a Mrs. “Yes Dear” Robot. I wouldn’t be nearly as interested in her if she were clingy and dependent without an original thought of her own. Part of my attraction to Kara is her ability to share her opinion in a well-worded, intentional way. That’s hot.

The tension is good in balancing between being an individual and being an influential. I’m looking forward to negotiating away part of my independence to make something greater and keeping a healthy tension between what I want personally and what’s better for us together.

Independence is great but interdependence can accomplish so much more. We can play off each other’s strengths and step in where the other person is weaker. Gaps can be filled and pieces can be put into place to make a more complete picture, the same picture that God saw in Adam’s life after Eve was made.

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